Have questions about therapy?
Is Therapy Right For Me?
No website can answer this definitively, but GoodTherapy has a list of 8 signs you can look for that might mean that therapy is generally a good fit; we have shortened the list to just those that might be related to a difficult period of faith deconstruction:
Feeling sad and unmotivated. If you have had feelings of hopelessness, decreased energy, sadness, irritability, thoughts of suicide, feel overwhelmed and unable to cope, or are no longer finding pleasure in activities you used to enjoy, you may be dealing with depression and may benefit from talking to a professional.
Excessive worry. If you feel as though your anxiety is interfering with your ability to do normal activities and/or you are unable to sleep at night due to ongoing rumination about your difficulties, you may want to consider seeking help.
Trauma or abuse. If you have experienced any type of traumatic event or abusive relationship, coming to terms with your experience by talking to an empathic other can be extremely helpful. Trauma and abuse can leave long-term scars that, if left untreated, can negatively impact your life, relationships, and ability to experience joy or happiness.
Relationship problems. If your relationship has become unfulfilling and you feel you are no longer able to communicate effectively with your significant other, seeking out couples counseling can be a helpful step in getting your relationship back on track.
Difficult life transitions. We all face difficult life situations at times–the loss of a job, a move to a new city, a divorce, or the loss of a loved one. When difficulties such as these arise and you find it difficult to move on, talking with a counselor can be an effective way to process your feelings and work through any lingering grief.
Obsessive or compulsive behaviors. If you are spending too much time double-checking to make sure you have turned off the stove, obsessively washing your hands, or are consumed by compulsive thoughts, receiving counseling could be extremely beneficial in getting your life in order.
It is common for people to wait too long before seeking therapy; in such cases, a lot of extra damage can be done in the meantime. If you think therapy might be the right course of action, we encourage you to take the first steps toward finding a therapist. There’s rarely such a thing as having too much support.
Are you suggesting “Christian Counseling”?
No. We do not recommend “Christian counseling,” “Biblical counseling,” “Nouthetic counseling,” “Theophostic counseling,” or any other specifically Christian-branded “therapy” styles. In general, these do not require master’s degrees in psychology, are not evidence-based, and might be dangerous in serious cases. We exclusively recommend licensed therapists with at least a master’s degree in psychology.
Although many people going through faith deconstruction prefer to see therapists who are themselves Christian, this need not always be the case. If not, it may be wise to make sure they have experience with clients who are working through faith issues (more on that below).
Can I “Try Out” a Therapist?
Yes! You can email a prospective therapist and ask important questions. It is also common to try up to a few sessions with more than one therapist before committing to a therapeutic relationship. Trust your instincts as to whether or not you and your therapist are a good fit! Some therapists also offer shorter phone consultations before booking a full session; feel free to ask or check their websites for this information.
How Do I Find a Therapist?
The best way to find a therapist is through a referral from a trusted friend who has had a good therapeutic experience themselves. Often, pastors and other community leaders will know a few therapists to whom they refer clients (often based on multiple good reports). Additionally, many churches have funds to help attendees pay for a fixed number of therapy sessions; if you attend a church somewhat regularly, it may be worth reaching out to a pastor or staff person there. In any case, we only recommend licensed clinicians with at least a master’s degree in psychology, counseling, or social work.
Although there is no national (or international) database for the type of therapist who is ideal for a deconstructing Christian, we think we have a pretty good workaround. PsychologyToday.com is the most extensive directory of licensed therapists in the US. With the PsychologyToday search tool, you can search by zip code, specific insurance companies, and even select “Christian” in the Religion category and/or “Spirituality” in the Issues category. You can also email a prospective therapist and ask if they have any experience working through religious issues, and if not, if they have colleagues they might refer you to with more experience in that area (especially for those with counseling or social work degrees, as they are not listed on PsychologyToday.com). For therapists who identify as Christians themselves, it might be helpful to ask them in an email how specifically they integrate their faith into their therapeutic practice. (Note: There’s a newer resource that is helping resource spiritual abuse/trauma victims with resources and specialists called Reclamation Collective. We have no affiliation.)
Therapy can be quite expensive. If financial resources are a barrier, Open Path Collective is worth checking out. They are a non-profit that matches licensed therapists with steeply reduced-rate clients. You can even select “Spirituality” under Specialities on their Find a Therapist page.
Am I Dealing with Trauma?
Some people going through faith deconstruction are working through spiritual or other types of trauma or abuse. Traumatic events impact people differently, and not everyone who has been through difficult experiences will show the same, or any, symptoms. Here are some signs that trauma may be negatively impacting you (adapted from Peter Levine’s Healing Trauma):
hyper-vigilance
intrusive imagery or flashbacks
extreme sensitivity to light and sound
hyperactivity
exaggerated emotional and startle responses
nightmares and night terrors
shame and lack of self-worth
reduced ability to deal with stress (easily and frequently stressed out)
sleep disturbance
exaggerated or diminished sexual activity
amnesia or forgetfulness
inability to love, nurture, or bond with others
fear of dying or shortened life
self-mutilation
loss of sustaining beliefs
excessive shyness
diminished emotional responses
inability to make commitments
chronic fatigue
chronic physical illness/pain
depression
panic attacks, anxiety, and phobias
mental "blankness" or spaced out feelings
attraction to dangerous situations
addictive behaviors.
Mental health related resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call 988 to speak with a counselor. Available 24/7. Also visit https://988lifeline.org/
Crisis Text Line. Text 741741 with the word “home” to text with a trained specialist. Available 24/7.if
Psychology Today. Type in your zip code and then click “chronic illness” under issues to find therapists that specialize in working with chronic illnesses. www.psychologytoday.com.
Open Path Psychotherapy Collective is a nonprofit nationwide network of mental health professionals dedicated to providing in-office and online mental health care—at a steeply reduced rate—to clients in need. https://openpathcollective.org
MentalHealth.gov. https://www.mentalhealth.gov/
Mental Health America. https://mhanational.org/
The Jed Foundation. https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-cope-with-psychological-trauma/
Veterans Crisis Line. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/ National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). https://nami.org 1-800-950-6264
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). https://www.samhsa.gov. 1-800-662-4357
The Trevor Project resources for LGBTQ+ youth in mental health crises, https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/